April 2009
Goddammit, Brody Dalle. Why must you be so attractive?!
‘Cos Cowboys is Indie! Didn’t you know?
-gi
A Bravo Special Report: When Heteros Attack
fmylife:
Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I’m a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML
DICKCHICKEN!
Moving Day!
1481 myrtle ave 4L Brooklyn NY 11237!
fmylife:
Today, I was going to have sex with my hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say “fuck me” in Spanish. She claimed it was “pollo frito”. I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming “fried chicken.” FML
fmylife:
Today, I tasted the rainbow. By that, I mean a homeless man hit me in the face with a bag of Skittles for not giving him money. FML
fmylife:
Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, “Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?” Her mother then replied, “Because her parents don’t love her.” FML.
You’re right, Regina Spektor- there IS nothing like emptying a cartridge at the sun!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVERY LOUD NOYES!
(via jobie)
187. DON'T CALL YOUR SISTER A BITCH WHEN SHE'S...
(via gotwisdom)
Wow. I neglect the hell out of my twitter.
The Bouncing Souls- “Sing Along...
