Watch Requiem for a Dream on Hulu →
And you will never want to do drugs EVER (again). (via movieoftheweek)
fmylife: Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is “suspicious” and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML
fmylife: Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said “Do you believe in Jesus?” FML
fmylife: Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML
There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The...– John Rogers at Kung Fu Monkey, via Daily Kos (via Balloon Juice) (via hereblog)
fmylife: Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He’s her dad. FML
fmylife: Today, I read Stephanie Meyer’s book ‘Twilight’ and enjoyed it. FML
James Dean taught me not to speed, River Phoenix taught me not to DO speed, and...– Emile Hirsch (via chuckiefinster)
…There are no words.
Reggie and the Full Effect, “Thanx For...
She doesn't have a dick! FLML
fmylife: Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I undressed and then proceeded to throw up all over the rug. FML
fmylife: Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says “Tell my room mate I’m having an asthma attack.” FML
fmylife: Today, at lunch, my sister decided to come out to my parents. She said, “Mom, can you please pass the salad to a homosexual?” My mom passed the salad to me. FML
En route to Maryland via megabus. You can’t go wrong when you’re rockin’ the ‘Heed. -gi
Monster Java is the nastiest shit EVER.